Here is the first part of the script. This would have been the introduction scene, more than likely FMV, before players would play and interact with the environment. So, here it is. You need to download it to view it:
I think it was good not to go ahead with this in ways. It is a bit too static for my taste to begin with, with just a lot of talking and chemistry going on between the siblings. Even though this set up important information and back story, the chemistry and back story should be added a bit further in the game when they are a little more involved in the present tension.
Very soon it sets up the kind of world they live, and what problems people like them have to deal with on a daily basis. But at the same time I think it makes people curious about certain aspects of it too. Like the soldiers and what their true purpose is. I think the drama sets in quite quickly, which is good, but particular parts could have been handled better. Thank god this is only a first draft!
Remember, next week will be a rewrite of this, and the one the team I am working with decided to go for. Not the next part!
This is Jon here
Hope you all have a lovely weekend